Primordial Ooze - The States of Existence

This is the truth. Those of you who know me know that I have been consistently relegated to a lower state of existence. When I come to school, I am the HEADLESS WORM - the unthinking beast that moves around based purely on muscle memory. By the end of the school day, my situation has not much improved - it is only when I return home that I have access to the elixir that is the cranberry juice that can elevate me to the state of a MOVIE ZOMBIE - the wandering hulking sentience that rumbles "BRAINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" and seeks to devour everything including brains and chocolate chip cookies. Movement and actions is purely instinctual. At this point, only Life Balance (see Blenderlid/Genre Whiplash) can elevate my being to a ORDINARY HUMAN - yes, the state in which a person that is not myself can normally function at. But it is just as likely (read: about 10x more likely) that my procrastinating ways lead to an all-nighter... which drops me to the state I want to talk about.

PRIMORDIAL OOZE.

What is it. It is a state in which you cannot think. But it's more than just that. Muscle memory fails you. It's like late night limbo (see Blenderlid). But you have no presence of mind - you will wake the next day and see your chat logs and say, "HOLY FRICK DID I REALLY SAY THAT." And at school, you will be greeted by "HERPDERPWHAT." Because that's what you did last night. You oozed. And then your nebulous fingers typed some random shit that constitutes a cohesive thought - or so it might seem but you might as well just head-desk into your keyboard and achieve the same effect. You ramble. Like so. Because really, the only thing that's keeping you awake is the very rambling thought itself and if you didn't type this up, you would be snoring on your computer. Keyboard. Whatever.

Hey. Guess what state I'm in right now?

P.S. As a note, Energizer Bunny and Coffee Demon states do not exist for me. Those are reserved for people whom draw energy from god only knows. Is it a cult? THE CULT OF TIME MANAGEMENT? DO YOU PRAY TO THE ENERGIZER BUNNY? DOES HE GRANT YOU THE HOLY VISION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO MAINTAIN CLARITY OF THOUGHT, THE BATTERY OF TRUTH? ENLIGHTEN THIS SLIME. SLUDGE. BRAIN MATTER. OOZE.

ABP#05: [Anonymous]

ABP#05: Anonymous

Never post anything on the internet without a pseudonym or four; never use your real name anywhere, go by nicknames, pet names, casual names; facebook only enough so that your closest buddies know that you don't; if you must have an IM icon, pick one of the default ones - the chess one's pretty boring; don't wear blinding colors; don't wear muted colors; when picking what to wear, think what your classmates are wearing; become a chameleon, don't stick out; it doesn't matter big or small, just don't act flamboyantly or secretively; but what if I want to eat chocolates in class?; too bad, unless you want to share it all; eat your food at a steady pace - too slow singles you out when you're the last one eating; when called upon in class - answer, but use the most boring textbook answers you can think of; when called upon to present, make sure you use lots of text; remember, stay anonymous with Bs - As attract too much attention unless you're in art; laugh when expected but not too loudly, certainly not guffawing; but what if that's how I naturally laugh?; then give up, because you're a goat and goats aren't anonymous; this is how you stare in shock but not quite awe; this is how you walk and smile; this is how you score just enough points on your test so your parents don't kill you but you're still suitably average; chameleon, you are one, so blend and blend; don't panic unless you're in a theater and someone shouts fire; don't laugh at others unless your friend trips over a paper clip or if others are laughing; don't fret unless its ten minutes before a test andthen act like you haven't studied - maybe you did, but spaz anyways; make sure you tie your shoes - it's hard to be a chameleon when you're known as the guy who faceplanted into cement; listen in class to the expected degree - that is, don't unless it's AP calculus; have the most boring quirks possible - pet rocks, maybe; be average at everything you do - but don't be exceptional at being average, you have to be average at being average; are you a chameleon yet?; or try your hand at being a ghost - but not literally; anonymous people aren't ninja - it would be cool though; anonymous people aren't spies - it might be cool though; because anonymous is not standing out and ninjas and spies are about as glorified and standoutish as you can get; basically, be as boring as you can get; be average at average; but really, being anonymous is being a chameleon.

ABP #04: [Constructing a World, Block by Block]

So I found today's class to be really interesting and at the same time, kind of frustrating - I'm sure we definitely could have came up with more ideas if we weren't focused on random stuff. Anyways, here's a list of ideas and places and whatnot that I liked in our discussion.

• people washing up in town: I think this idea's still great and applicable, could be a reason to lead to the tension.
• Little Ben: I don't know why people were talking about two Little Bens, we could just, ya know, have it on one side of the bridge and be a symbol of the tensions... But anyways, yay for clocktowers.
• central square/plaza: Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I didn't exactly get "sprawling metropolis" from our conversation in class today, so I don't know why the central square/plaza can't encompass the bridge and river. Just imagine a giant square with a river running through it and a single bridge? 
• window factory: It's an interesting business thing, I don't see any problems with it. And windows can be symbolic and whatnot if you really need more of a reason.
• sheriff and hero: I like the idea in general, but I'd replace sheriff with mayor or other town leadership title, have the sheriff/mayor be a mutually hated person that both sides want to displace, and have the sports hero be a symbol for the entire city and thus a common point of interest. Add some politicking, ta da! Father and son are both prime political targets for a city of political and social unrest. 
• haunted house: Except haunted wharf. Tired of houses, lets do something more coastal city like?

You know what this reminds me of? Italy. Here's some details that I thought might be interesting

• canals: Hey there, Italy. That's what I was thinking of when you guys said river through middle of city anyways and docks, so throwing it out there. Plus economy based on sea trade/fishing? 
• layout of city: You know, like the plans of the city from an aerial view? A giant key or a fish or something could be cool, and I don't know, it might be an interesting reason that leads to tension. "HEY, WE NEED MORE ROOM TO BUILD HOUSING." 'NO, YOU CAN'T, YOU WILL RUIN THE FISH.' :D
• manor of a historical hero: Because if I follow through on the Little Ben on one side, the other side should also have something of importance. Insert random history of the hero who founded the town or something and built his house. Both Little Ben and the house were built before factionalism began, and each side claimed one?
• old priest in the middle of town: Like, smack-dab middle, with a tiny church available to all. Maybe have him try to mediate each side, but he would be the old guy trying to make peace with each side. Generally likable, but the more radical parts of the city want him out.
• possessed crane: Local legend says a construction crane/apparatus once went berserk with nobody at the controls and then broke stuff around it. Since then, a rusted crane lies in the middle of an unused plot of land near the dock sector. DEMON CRANES, because we could.
• locked rooms in Little Ben [+ manor of a historical hero/any other location of interest]: Nobody knows what's behind them, they are guarded by identical doors and nobody knows who has the keys. Multiple town legends involve them. Manor can be replaced by anything else or just nothing, but Little Ben should have one for sure.
• growing port city: To tie in further with random people drifting into the city, have it be like a major stop for seafarers or something on their way north/east/south/west. Then we get a whole bunch of random sailors to talk about. 
• California/Alaskan gold rush scenario: Maybe, to get a whole bunch of people trying to strike it rich and coming through the city? The resource of choice could be gold or anything else and could be near the city or just further in any of the compass directions, but the city is like a prominent stop for most ships going there. 
• a town fish: Like a fish that's unique to the town's area or something. Be a symbol of the city, have yearly festivals based on it, all that. Kinda like salmon to our region? And call it... Derpfish? Derfish? Derpish? :D Just kidding. But not about the fish in general.
• Possible Town Names
• Teisnayucanuis: There is no way you can pronounce this. Tereisnoayyucaronounchis. Teisnoayucaronunchis. Teisnayucanuis.
• Terull - Troll. XD
• Anamorisity - A name for this city. Anamorisity.
• Benralin - Ben Franklin. I don't know, I just thought this sounded cool.
• Jodaforth - Joe the Fourth. 
• Frontier - It's a cool word. And even if this is grounded in reality, we never specified an era. DISCOVERING THE WORLD, HO. Would tie in well if we did do a goldrush scenario.
• Derptown - I felt obligated to. 

Yeah. Pretty much. Also, like I said, I don't get sprawling metropolis, I get "salty, smells like a coastal port city, Venice-lookalike" so I'm not sure if I like the meadow idea at all because this feels pretty urban/in development to me. And I can't picture coastal town with meadows inside the town. But that might just be me.

3 x D

This started as first person. I swear to god, it did.

The Strangest RPG

Or otherwise known as, I have no clue what the heck I'm doing anymore. Have a weird snippet inspired by generic RPGs, incompetent villains, and teenaged heroes everywhere.