Primordial Ooze - The States of Existence

This is the truth. Those of you who know me know that I have been consistently relegated to a lower state of existence. When I come to school, I am the HEADLESS WORM - the unthinking beast that moves around based purely on muscle memory. By the end of the school day, my situation has not much improved - it is only when I return home that I have access to the elixir that is the cranberry juice that can elevate me to the state of a MOVIE ZOMBIE - the wandering hulking sentience that rumbles "BRAINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" and seeks to devour everything including brains and chocolate chip cookies. Movement and actions is purely instinctual. At this point, only Life Balance (see Blenderlid/Genre Whiplash) can elevate my being to a ORDINARY HUMAN - yes, the state in which a person that is not myself can normally function at. But it is just as likely (read: about 10x more likely) that my procrastinating ways lead to an all-nighter... which drops me to the state I want to talk about.

PRIMORDIAL OOZE.

What is it. It is a state in which you cannot think. But it's more than just that. Muscle memory fails you. It's like late night limbo (see Blenderlid). But you have no presence of mind - you will wake the next day and see your chat logs and say, "HOLY FRICK DID I REALLY SAY THAT." And at school, you will be greeted by "HERPDERPWHAT." Because that's what you did last night. You oozed. And then your nebulous fingers typed some random shit that constitutes a cohesive thought - or so it might seem but you might as well just head-desk into your keyboard and achieve the same effect. You ramble. Like so. Because really, the only thing that's keeping you awake is the very rambling thought itself and if you didn't type this up, you would be snoring on your computer. Keyboard. Whatever.

Hey. Guess what state I'm in right now?

P.S. As a note, Energizer Bunny and Coffee Demon states do not exist for me. Those are reserved for people whom draw energy from god only knows. Is it a cult? THE CULT OF TIME MANAGEMENT? DO YOU PRAY TO THE ENERGIZER BUNNY? DOES HE GRANT YOU THE HOLY VISION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO MAINTAIN CLARITY OF THOUGHT, THE BATTERY OF TRUTH? ENLIGHTEN THIS SLIME. SLUDGE. BRAIN MATTER. OOZE.