Nilda - Not a huge fan of the general premise or the characters or the story-in-general, but I will admit it carried a very consistent tone throughout (however crude it may be) and I laughed really hard at the last sentence and it's an interesting look into different writing style.
Brownies - I liked it, the interaction between Daphne and Laurel (protagonist) was really interesting, poem and bus comments in particular, plot was decent and characterization throughout was strong.
This little drabble is based off of the alone prompt we did in class (except this is completely fictional), and is inspired from Mr. Rierson's little pep talk in chemistry today. Mr. Rierson, you are amazing. Run for president. I'll vote for you.
In a sea of people, you are alone. Waves of incessant chattering surged and coursed around you, like water parted by an immovable boulder. You could hear naught but muttering, the muted cries of those around me but not actually there. Vast this sea may be, but faceless are all these people, and your world was filled with the monochrome of apathy. You press your way through the ocean of inconsequents, cutting a path through the masses. ‘Ironic’, you think, ‘that despite so many people in such close proximity, that people can still be alone’. Distant from the unrecognizable, unremarkable, uninterested world around me, you only barely hear the ringing of a bell – a distant electronic gong that rang hollow within your ears. Life trudged on, you didn’t give a damn, and the damnable prattle of several nuisances nearby finally silenced. You awaited the clarion call to labor, something you felt a vague apprehension of – the work was strenuous, tedious, time-consuming, and difficult. Sometimes, there was that vague sensation of unease, that voice of uncertainty that just smothered your thoughts – “Maybe this isn’t for me,” “Why am I doing this?” But then you remind yourself of the hurdle you must overcome, the reward of risk, and trudge grimly on, braving through the onslaught slowly, failing more than succeeding. Frustration is no alien emotion to you. As your fleeting mind wandered back to present reality, you note with some surprise that the manager has not shown up yet, and that nearby peers have begun murmuring worriedly. Worry briefly flits within you, before being driven off like an annoying housefly that has been spotted – the overseer had arrived. Straightening yourself slightly, you watch as the overseer pauses. You are confused by the shift in routine (the overseer is usually strict and quick to order the peons to work), but nevertheless you pay attention when the overseer begins talking. At first you are confused by his words, as he speaks of working together as a team, as a unit. ‘What the heck? What is this junk?’ But the logic in his declarations… makes sense, as much as it pains you to admit it, and you certainly wouldn’t mind someone taking part of your burden. As much as you value your independence, the sense of satisfaction of completing something yourself, you have only to look at your numerous failures to decided that no, your pride is not worth the price of failure. After all, a stick can easily be torn asunder by firm hands, but not a bundle of sticks. The once faceless person across from you grins, making some casual comments that you hear fully for the first time as he hands you contact information, a helping hand. You blink as a face begins to come into definition, hear words that sink fully into your mind, this strange new bond you have forged. And that monochromatic world of yours begins to ever so slowly brighten.
EDIT: Wow, I thought there was still hope for you when you declared you canceled the Koran burning, but if you seriously decide to restart, then... seriously what the heck? Terry Jones, my man, there's at least 3 people dead in Afghanistan because of what you're doing. I can't tell if you're just trolling the world or being a dramatic attention-hog. If its the former...
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