Thursday, December 16, 2010

Crash

What do you do, when your idyllic illusions finally crash down, in the perfect storm of angry shouts and words that tear more deeply than any knife could?

What do you do, when your denial fails you and reality, the cold bastard truth, stares straight at you - seeing past the pathetic delusions that have fueled your excuses for all-too-long?

What do you do, when your lies are revealed for what they are, your passions for the lies they are, your dreams for the lies they are?

What do you do, when your facades begin to fall like dominoes around you, starting with calm and ending with happiness?

What do you do, when the ugly emotions of bitter jealousy and hate burst forth from your every word, soul-searing words that leave nothing but the bitter aftertaste of acid in your mouth?

What do you do, when you are presented with a bitter choice of hurt and hurt- because there are no happy endings now, your indecisiveness just merely another sign of your helplessness?

What do you do, when you watch the retreating back of her back, his back, and want to do nothing more than cry out for forgiveness, to take back every hateful word you've ever said?

What do you do, when all you want is to return to normalcy, to return to the life before this house of splintered cracks and fractured hearts?

What do you do, when all you want to do is tuck your head beneath your pillows and wish this was all just some terrible dream, some terrible nightmare?

What do you do, when you know that you are the agent of your own ruination, the contagion that has infected those you love and fractured ties older than thought?

What do you do, when you look into yourself and find that you've never detested anything more than yourself?

1 comment:

  1. :(
    if it's any consolation prize, i absolutely ADORE your background.

    ReplyDelete